change management process change management plan
Do you think that someday, insecure people may conclude to some degree that the only "better" out there is the person they have yet to become? Once they realize the utterly incredibly difficult challenge that lies ahead, only then can they begin to see how to transform their most undesirable traits into tools of encouragement, inspiration and empowerment.
One of the definitions of emotional intelligence (EQ) is the term used to describe individuals who are able to respond to emotionally heated, intense discussions without losing their cool, and by staying diplomatic. People with attention and/or hyperactivity disorders can have a particularly difficult time with this, as one of the features of this disorder is saying or doing things without thinking of the consequences of their words or behavior.
People who are low in EQ or emotional intelligence, may want to change how they react. The following project is a test to determine just how cool you can stay during a potential emotionally heated discussion. The subject will want to find someone who they know well, such as a parent, sibling, boss or friend, that is a very critical and difficult person. The subject starts by asking this difficult person to tell them what they feel is their greatest weakness.
Yes, it's highly likely that the subject will receive a tirade of answers, insults, and put downs, but in this instance, deflect them to the question - ONE weakness and a brief explanation or example. It is possible for the subject to gradually ramp up to that person, by seeking individuals who aren't as difficult, but may be difficult to please or who are perfectionists.
The difficult person may want to know the reason for the subject asking them of this question. The answer can be as simple as wanting to know another's opinion, separate and objective from my own. The subject can either inform them that if it is something that can be changed, that they are willing to do the work to change it. The emotional challenge is to sit there calmly, listening attentively by leaning forward, and hearing their words. Watch their body language and facial expressions closely as they communicate. Do NOT and I mean DO NOT respond with anger, defensiveness, insults or accusations. Even if their perspective is wrong or they don't have all the information, listen. If the subject doesn't understand something, ask them to clarify.
If the subject loses his/her cool and gets into an argument, then they have just lost the purpose of the challenge. If not, and the subject is able to take what they say, diplomatically, thank them for their honesty.
Now, think about or reflect on their response. Forget the insults and the put-downs. Ignore those. Read between the lines. If the person begins by cracking a put down joke, ignore it. Don't even bother reading into it. Once the subject takes out the humiliating and embarrassing remarks, the answer will show it self. This is the time for the subject to be completely honest - are you guilty of the things this person says? If so, can you change or alter it? How? If you can't change it, what can you do now to prevent it from happening again? Understand, that difficult people have very high and often unrealistic, irrational expectations, not just for you, but for themselves. Realize, that critical people have the gift of discernment. Use this gift positively and take it as constructive criticism, despite how they choose to communicate it to you.
Very few people really want to change for themselves. Understand that the stubborn ones might be those who refuse to change, believe that they are just fine, and might even feel everyone else is to blame for their behavior. These people are the ones that need the most changing. Are you one of these people?
The following books are suggested reading, Who Moved My Cheese and Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Be havior --- Anytime, Anyplace.
Julie Callicutt is the owner of Ferko Therapeutic Group, a company specializing in providing intensive rehabilitation therapy to children with disabilities, delays and disorders, such as ADD/ADHD. Julie's services include 1:1 intensive therapy, coaching/mentoring of caregivers and making herself available to speak at local and national early childhood conferences. If you would like more information, please visit, http://www.ferkotherapy.com/.